October - Managing Emotions
Parent Resources
Book - The Emotional Life of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour (her podcast Ask Lisa is also phenomenal)
Moods: Helping Pre-teens and Teens Manage Emotional Ups and Downs - Raising Children
Tips for Coaching Teens to Recognize and Manage Emotions - CDC
Book - Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys by Dan Kindlon (must-read for parents of boys)
7 Ways Teen Boys Process Emotion - my blog
Conversation Starters
“When you're angry or stressed, do you like to talk it out, or do you need space first?”
“What do you think people often misunderstand about how you express your feelings?”
“Have you ever been told to ‘calm down’ when you were upset? How did that feel?”
“What’s the difference between reacting to something and responding to it?”
“When you're having a tough day, what do you wish people would say or do?”
“How do you know when you’re starting to feel overwhelmed?”
“Is there something you’ve learned that helps you stay calm or bounce back when things go wrong?”
“What’s something that instantly makes you feel better when you’re upset?”
“What things can you do to add more happiness to your life?”
50 Emotional Coping Strategies PDF
Print this pdf and discuss ways we can process our emotions in a healthy way. Tape it to your fridge or on your teen’s mirror after.
Parent Teen Night Ideas
This Ted Talk by Brene Brown discuss vulnerability in a powerful way.
2. How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
This 10-minute animated summary of Dale Carnegie’s book talks about worry and how to manage it in your life.
3. Understanding EQ with Daniel Goleman
This 7-minute animated video talks about what emotional intelligence is and how we can develop it.
4. The Gift and Power of Emotional Courage
Psychologist Susan David shares how the way we deal with emotions can shape everything that matters. She also gives some strategies for emotional agility and challenges constant positivity over emotional truth.
5. This could by why you’re depressed or anxious
This longer 20-minute Ted Talk discusses fresh insights on the causes of depression and anxiety. Johann Hari also gives some exciting new solutions.
6. Where Joy Hides and How to Find it
In this 13-minute talk, Ingrid Fetell Lee reveals the tangible roots of joy and how we can add more of it to our lives.
Things to watch out for:
1. Their moods are extreme or don’t seem to match the situation. Everyone gets upset sometimes, but if your teen swings from rage to despair quickly, or reacts with intense emotion over small things, it could signal issues with emotional regulation or deeper mental health concerns.
2. They’re often overwhelmed and can’t bounce back. Teens may struggle sometimes, but if yours seems stuck in sadness, stress, or anxiety and rarely returns to a baseline of calm, they may be struggling with chronic emotional dysregulation, depression, or burnout.
3. They cope in unhealthy or harmful ways. Watch for signs like self-harm, substance use, disordered eating, or shutting down completely. These behaviors often signal they don’t have the tools—or feel safe enough—to deal with emotions in a healthy way.
4. They talk about themselves in harsh or hopeless ways. Frequent statements like “I’m so stupid,” “I mess everything up,” or “What’s the point?” (especially when repeated over time) can point to low self-worth, depression, or internalized shame.
5. They isolate from people or activities they used to enjoy. Pulling away from friends, avoiding family, or losing interest in hobbies is often a red flag that something is going on emotionally.
6. Their anger becomes destructive or unsafe. If your teen yells, throws things, threatens others, or can’t calm themselves after an outburst, they may need help learning safer, more effective emotional regulation skills.
7. You sense they’re trying to hold it all in. Teens who seem “too fine,” overly perfectionistic, or unwilling to talk about any feelings might be struggling silently. Emotional suppression can be just as dangerous as explosive reactions.