May - Motivation/Procrastination
Parent Resources
3 Ways to Help Motivate Your Teen - Unicef
How Do You Motivate a Teen? Yes, It Is Possible! - Positive Discipline
How to get motivated: 10 tips to inspire and encourage yourself - Calm
Coaching for your teen with me! I often coach teens on motivation and procrastination. Learn more here.
Parent Teen Night Ideas
1. Two Things You Need to Understand to Stop Being Lazy
This 5-minute video by Roy Baumeister describes willpower in a simple way. After watching it discuss procrastination and come up with a few ways to preserve willpower and get more done.
2. Inside the Mind of a Master Procrastinator
In this 15-minute Ted Talk Tim Urban talks about his battle with procrastination (in a humorous way) and urges us to think about what we are procrastinating and why.
3. How to Stay Motivated: the Locus Rule
This 5-minute video explains the locus rule and explains that we are more motivated when we feel like we are in control. Watch this and discuss the amount of control your teen feels they have in their life.
This 4-minute video talks more about motivation and can be paired with the above one during the same parent teen night. Talk about what motivation is and what specific things motivate your teenager. Here are some questions to consider with them:
Am I motivated by rewards?
Do I prefer to work alone or in a group?
Do I like to have a lot of outside structure or come up with ideas as I go along?
Do deadlines help me be more productive or do they stress me out?
How do I feel about to-do lists?
Do I like praise and aknowledgement or does it make me feel awkward and embarrassed?
5. The Power of Believing That You Can Improve
Carol Dweck talks about growth mindset and reminds us that our potential lies completely and fully within our own hands.
6. Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance
In this inspiring Ted Talk by Angela Lee Duckworth, she talks about grit and how it is a big predictor of success.
Conversation Starters
What types of things motivate you?
What are your biggest distractions?
How can I help you when you are feeling stuck?
Do you have a harder time getting going or staying on task?
Share ways you motivate yourself when you don’t want to do a task.
Discuss self-discipline and how it relates to motivation and procrastination.
Discuss this quote by James Clear: “Motivation often comes after starting, not before. Action produces momentum.” How can you get started if you aren’t feeling motivated?
ADHD Questions - this has some questions that can help you/your teen know if it’s time to see a therapist for an ADHD diagnosis
things to watch out for:
1. The lack of motivation/procrastination is getting in the way of everyday life. If your teen is consistently missing assignments, forgetting basic tasks, skipping responsibilities, or falling behind in school (despite reminders and support) they may be overwhelmed or struggling with executive function skills like planning and time management.
2. They avoid starting almost everything. It’s normal to procrastinate a task or two. But if your teen avoids all tasks and seems unable to take the first step, they may be stuck in a pattern of burnout, anxiety, or even depression.
3. They beat themselves up for not doing enough but they still feel frozen. If your teen talks about feeling “lazy,” guilty, or ashamed about their lack of motivation, and still can’t make changes, this can be a sign of internal distress.
4. Nothing seems to motivate them, even the stuff they used to enjoy. Lack of excitement about anything (hobbies, friends, goals, or rewards), could be a red flag for depression, hopelessness, or low self-worth, rather than “just being lazy.”
5. They say things like “What’s the point?” or “It doesn’t matter.” This type of language often reflects deeper discouragement or emotional shut-down, especially if it shows up alongside low energy, sleep changes, or irritability.
6. They overestimate how much time they have or constantly underestimate how long things take. If your teen always says, “I’ll do it later,” but misses deadlines or gets overwhelmed when time runs out, it may be a sign of poor time perception, which is often linked to ADHD or executive function challenges.
7. Motivation issues are hurting their confidence. If your teen starts calling themselves a “failure” or giving up before even trying, they may be internalizing these struggles in ways that affect their self-image and mental health.