March - Organization
Many people do some spring cleaning, so let’s talk about organization and cleaning this month with our teens! The other day I watched my 14-year-old son sweep and I asked myself, “Have I seriously never taught him this? I swear I have taught him this…and I know he has watched me. Right?!”
Parent Resources
Sanctuary or Swamp? Your Teen’s Bedroom. I made this video as a Facebook Live years ago.
Parent Teen Night Ideas
Watch How-to Videos. Sometimes teens don’t like to listen to their parents. :) Watching some short how-to videos can be a way to teach (and learn) at the same time! You can google things both of you are interested in or watch some of these:
How to clean and disinfect your iPhone
2. The Container Concept. In this video, Dana K. White talks about the container concept and how it can help us stay organized.
3. Watch some Hoarders. Here is a longer video that you could watch part of. Discuss how, when, and why we get rid of things.
4. Create lists together of how to clean each room and print them up. Put them in the room they belong in.
5. Watch a home renovation show like Hack My Home (Netflix), Fixer to Fabulous (Max), Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (Netflix and Hulu), etc.
6. Create a Pinterest board for your teen’s dream home, or look at boards they already have.
7. Play a game where you write all the letters of the alphabet down a sheet of paper. Have people come up with chores/things to organize that start with each of the letters. Then, go through and cross off the ones that someone else already has. The winner can get a treat.
8. Do a deep clean of their room with them. In Raising Inspired Teens we do periodic Teen Room Bootcamp weeks. We follow this order:
Take out the trash. Put dirty clothes in the hamper. Do a quick pick up.
Clothes. Sort through clothes and get rid of the ones your teen doesn't wear.
Drawers and shelves. What is hiding and where? An old stuffed animal your teen hasn't seen in years? A gross half-eaten jawbreaker?
Floors and surfaces. What is on your teen's dresser? Under their bed? On the floor of their closet?
Vacuum and dust. Wipe down the ceiling fan, dresser, windowsill, whatever needs to get cleaned and then vacuum.
Conversation Starters
What do you want your future apartment to look like?
What are some of your challenges when it comes to cleaning?
Are you happy with the way your room is decorated right now?
Do you feel ready to move out? Ie do you have all the organization/cleaning skills you need?
Discuss the mental load women often carry. What things should everyone in the household be responsible for? What mental load pieces belong with that task/chore?
Discuss what teamwork means when it comes to chores and what is “fair” and why. Get their opinion on it, as well. Are there some chores people like doing more than others? Would it make sense to delegate that way?
Discuss how mental health can affect cleaning.
Ask how many things your teen enjoys owning. Would they like to try a form of minimalism or do they enjoy owning more items?
Things to Watch out for:
1. Sudden and extreme changes in cleanliness. If your teen goes from reasonably tidy to completely unkempt (or from average messiness to obsessively clean) it may signal a shift in mental health, such as depression, anxiety, or even obsessive-compulsive tendencies.
2. Refusal to clean or organize anything, ever. All teens resist chores at times, but a total refusal to manage their space, despite reasonable reminders, could reflect overwhelm, executive functioning struggles (like ADHD), or emotional avoidance.
3. Emotional distress about cleaning or organizing. If your teen gets anxious, angry, or shuts down when asked to clean up it may be a sign that there’s more going on than laziness. Emotional dysregulation, perfectionism, or even past trauma could be in play.
4. Hoarding behavior or difficulty letting go of things. Teens who strongly resist throwing anything away (even trash) or become deeply distressed over small items being moved or cleaned may be dealing with anxiety, control issues, or deeper attachment concerns.
5. Obsessive or rigid cleaning routines. If your teen feels they have to clean a certain way, becomes upset if things are moved, or spends excessive time organizing beyond what's typical, it might suggest perfectionism, anxiety, or OCD-like behaviors.
6. Hiding messes or avoiding their room altogether. Some teens will stuff things under beds or into closets, but if they refuse to let anyone in their room, avoid being in it themselves, or hide areas of their space, it could signal embarrassment, depression, or even self-harm (if they don’t want you to see signs of it).
7. Messiness that impacts health or safety. If their space contains moldy food, trash buildup, bugs, or other unsanitary conditions—and they don’t seem to care or notice—it’s time to take a closer look at their emotional well-being.