Conversation Starters
Here are some deeper questions and quotes you can discuss with your teen while having dinner or driving in the car. With busy schedules it won’t happen every night, so take advantage of the time together when it does and discuss some important topics!
Quotes
“Be careful not to dehumanize people you disagree with. In our self-righteousness, we can easily become the very things we dislike in others.” Marcandangel
“Gratitude helps us to see what is there instead of what isn’t.” Annette Bridges (you could have everyone share three things they are thankful for and discuss gratitude)
“You must always be willing to truly consider evidence that contradicts your beliefs, and admit the possibility that you may be wrong. Intelligence isn’t knowing everything, it’s the ability to challenge everything you know.” Unknown
“Emotions are like farts. It hurts when you hold them in. Some clear a room. Some are silent. But, it’s important they do come out in an appropriate and safe place. It’s natural.” Dr. Jaime Zucherman (discuss safe and appropriate ways to express emotions)
“When something goes wrong in life, just yell ‘plot twist’ and keep going.” Unknown (share why mistakes are important and what you learned from a mistake you made)
“Don’t be afraid to start over. This time you aren’t starting from scratch, you’re starting from experience.” Unknown
“I am not sure how many problems I have because one of them is math.” Unknown (ask what one of their biggest challenges is right now)
“The test of integrity isn’t how often you shift your stance. It’s why you change your mind. Revising your words to gain approval is flip-flopping. Rethinking your views based on new facts is learning. Integrity isn’t fidelity to your beliefs. It’s fidelity to seeking the truth.” Adam Grant
“If we don’t say yes authentically, we say yes resentfully, and that leads to far more problems than if we’d said no in the first place.” Nat Lue (discuss why it’s hard to say yes/no and how to do so kindly)
“Even if you are on the right road, you will get run over if you just sit there.” Unknown
“Somewhere some stranger remembers you because you were kind to them.” Unknown (brainstorm ways we can be kind or service you can do together)
“Communicating is one thing, but your tone while communicating is everything.” Unknown (discuss ways your family can communicate better)
“It’s exciting to think that some of the best moments of our lives haven’t even happened yet.” Unknown (talk about some of the things you are looking forward to)
“Leadership is not a rank or position to be attained. Leadership is a service to be given.” Simon Sinek (discuss what leadership is and how each of you can be a better leader)
“Emotions are not problems to be solved. They are signals to be interpreted.” Vironika Tugaleva (discuss what signals different emotions might be sending)
“It’s not our job to make other people like us. It’s our job to like ourselves.” Christine Derengowski
“Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance.” George Bernard Shaw
“People who wonder if the glass is half empty or half full are missing the point. The glass is refillable.” Unknown
“Above all, try something.” Unknown (discuss an area you feel stuck and ask your teen for ideas - they LOVE that)
“Too often we waste our time waiting for the ideal path to appear, but it never does, because we forget that paths are made by walking, not waiting.” Marc Cernoff
“A big misconception is that you need to be motivating to get going. You don’t. Research shows that motivation follows action, not the other way around. In practice, you don’t need to feel good to get going; you need to get going to give yourself a chance at feeling good.” Brad Stulberg
“Be kind to your mind. You are not your thoughts.” Unknown
“When you follow a leader, consider what would lead you to withdraw your support. If the answer is nothing, your integrity is in jeopardy. Your highest loyalty belongs to principles, not people. No leader deserves unconditional love. Commitment is earned through character.” Adam Grant
“Emotionally healthy people don’t rage, retaliate, or play the victim when they are met with boundaries. They simply respect them.” Shahida Arabi
“The presence of the negative does not mean the absence of the positive.” Dr. Lisa Damour
“Beneath every behavior there is a feeling. And beneath each feeling is a need. And when we meet that need rather than focus on the behavior, we begin to deal with the cause, not the symptom.” Ashleigh Warner
“Trust isn’t a promise to never hurt each other. It’s the risk that we will hurt each other and the confidence that, if we do, we will come together to heal.” Esther Perel
“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” Brene Brown
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” Carl Jung
“Before I could manage my emotions, I had to accept my emotions. Before acceptance, I had to identify my emotions. Before identifying, I had to acknowledge my emotions. Before acknowledgment, I had to be honest with myself. And this took work.” Unknown
“The next time you feel inadequate, think about all the unmanageable stuff life threw your way. And yet you managed. You managed the unmanageable. You are amazing.” Kristina Kuzmic (tell your teen something you noticed they handled well)
Questions
What political party are you leaning toward?
What are your thoughts about our government and how it’s being run?
What is something you feel happy about right now?
When is it appropriate to offer someone advice and what is a kind way to do it? Ideas:
“Are you open to advice or are you just wanting to vent?”
“You might have already tried this, but what about…”
“Would you like to hear about something I tried when I was in a similar situation?”
What types of things motivate you to do things you don’t want to do?
Would you say your thoughts are mostly positive, neutral, or negative?
What types of things do you find yourself procrastinating? Why?
If you could change one thing about your day, what would it be?
What is something you can do this week to practice self-care?
What is something you are worried about right now?
What political issues are important to you?
What is bugging you right now?
What things do you spend a lot of time thinking about?
What is something that is draining your energy?
What are some things that are out of control?
What are some things that are in our control?
What are some things you do when you are feeling stressed?
Where do you see yourself in five years? Ten?
What is a good habit you would like to develop?
What would you do if you didn’t have any fear at all?
What would be the scariest time to have lived through?
What are some of your strengths?
How do you want others to feel when they are around you?
What world problem would you like to solve?
If you had to teach something, what would you teach?
Who inspires you the most and what qualities do they have that inspire you?
What would you regret not doing, being, or having in your life?
What are you willing to struggle for?
What desires keep tugging at your heart?
What gives you strength?
What would you do if you did not care what others thought?
What do you love to learn about?
What’s a job you’d never want to do? Why?
If you could make a documentary about anything, what would you make it about?
If you could open a store, what would you sell or provide?
What does “success” look like for you?
What are you pretending not to know?
What do you want to be the best in the world at?
What are you grateful for?
What are the biggest things you’ve learned in life thus far?
What advice would you give yourself 3 years ago? 3 years from now?
What do you want to be the best in the world at?
What does it mean to be emotionally intelligent?
Who do you admire, and who are you jealous of?
What don’t you want?
Are you willing to work hard? What things hold you back from doing so?